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Keeping Up with the Kardashians: S08E08: "Greece Is The Word"

By Mark Abraham · Jul 24, 2013
Editorial Note, 1 June 2015

These recaps were written before Caitlyn Jenner came out, is the reason they use incorrect names and pronouns.

“Greece Is The Word” is all about miscommunication and disappointment, and cliffhangers about whether those things will be resolved or not.

The Set-Up: In the previous episode, “Home Is Where Your Mom Is,” Kris Jenner begged Kim Kardashian to move in with her, which Kim did. Scott fucked up with Kourtney by not fucking up with Kim. Brandon Jenner beat Bruce Jenner in ping pong, but not the actual ping pong champion, but even so Bruce was happy because he has created a legacy of American Heroes that will happily come in 2nd or 3rd for years to come. In short, not much happened. Hope you enjoyed that, ‘cause even less happens this week.

This really is a nothing episode, so I’m afraid this K-cap might end up seeming a little slight. In literal terms, all that happens is the following things.

  1. Kris’s plans for a trip to Greece exclude Brody, which pisses Brody off. Rob doesn’t go on the Greece trip because…Robstuff, which is a new word I’m coining. It means “an excuse for generally failing at all attempted things.”
  2. Kim gets her divorce after one final bullshit soliloquy about how she wants to talk with Kris Humphries on Skype to solve things emotionally for herself.
  3. Scott plans a surprise birthday party for Kourtney, the plans for which Kourtney entirely upends; Scott gets all the blame anyways.

I know Kim’s pregnant and all, but I’m a little tired of the utter lack of Inject Myself Into Myself For Health And Beauty Purposes scenes this season. That lack, combined with a real dearth of snarky lines, Kardashian-incest, or much of anything that is genuinely charming or funny makes this episode just plain boring. Despite the fact that it includes a birthday party, a divorce, and a family trip to Greece, which would be a packed roster even for a Gossip Girl finale. This episode also features more evidence that Bruce is allowed to play ping pong in the foyer whenever he feels like it, and Kris will even sit there and applaud; at the same time, this episode features Brandon mentioning the Malibu Man Cave for the first time since the premiere—in a voice that suggests that we the viewer can’t remember 8 episodes ago—and Bruce’s corner in the garage. All of that happens and it’s still fucking boring.

In fact, it’s only the fact that this is a two-part episode (where precisely one of the plots will be continued, ‘natch) that is particularly notable at all. Snoozers, K-fans. Sorrysville.

The A-Plot: Kris wants to plan a family trip to Greece. The big drama here is that she invites everybody but Brody—which is actually one invite too few, since she should probably de-invite Rob, too. So, I dunno, great: I guess now that Brody has cursorily worked out his issues with Bruce he’ll have to work out his by-proxy issues with his step mom. Except that’s going to happen in this stupid storyline where we’re all going to pretend that this Greece trip was out of the blue and didn’t at all involve a lot of planning to ensure that all the cast members of this show—a show that was planning a location shoot—were present. Right? Anyways: Brody is peeved and therefore Kris, after some prodding from Bruce, manages to get Brody a plane ticket on an earlier flight.

Kris: That’s all I could do. We don’t own a private jet, folks. We’re not that rich.

This whole storyline is kind of stupid, even beyond the fact that it doesn’t make an administrative sense, because, like, who cares if Kris and Brody don’t get along? At Brody’s age, step moms are like mother-in-laws; there’s no feasible point where deadbeat dad Bruce gave micro-manager Kris a chance to be Brody’s step mom, so…yeah. Like, if what this plot is actually about is that Brody is upset that Kris didn’t push Bruce to be an actually good father to his second of three batches of children? That would be fine. But of course Brody never says that, so instead this is just about Kris ignoring him or something. Which, again: is something he should probably be mad at his father about.

What we’re treated to is Brody arguing that Kris neglects him and Kris arguing that Brody has ignored her phone calls and emails so often that she’s stopped trying to include him in things. Other than the 27 family dinners we’ve already witnessed this season. Not to mention this season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which Brody is part of.

Look, if Kris was shitty herself or exacerbated Bruce’s shitty dadding then yeah, she deserves some blame here. But since the show gives us zero context in which to understand Kris’s abilities as Brody’s step mom we have nothing to go on besides her abilities as a mom to her actual children. And I think you’ll all agree that she’s done pretty well given that most of them are millionaires and also Rob hasn’t let his Robstuff kill him dead yet. Plus, while it’s not like Kris has an Executive Producer credit on Brody’s old show Bromance or anything, Brody’s post-The Hills career falls under the same Ryan Seacrest Productions rubric as the Kardashian stuff that Kris does have Executive Producer credits for. And Bromance, while it sucked, came out in 2008. I’m not saying they all have zero problems with one another; I’m just saying there’s a certain business synergy to the interests of Kris, Brody, and Ryan Seacrest, and if there were serious problems Kris had with Brody there’s no way Seacrest took that chance offending the flagship show of his production company back then. Which means this is exactly what it looks like: pissed off at his shitty dad Bruce, Brody has willfully abstained from family activities, which means we should all just agree with Kris already.

All of which is the long way to say that when Brody and Kris sort of broach the issue once they’re in Greece it comes off as fake and stilted largely because there’s no context, no real complaints, and no new information given during the argument. Kris talks about texts that she’s sent which Brody argues he never received (though he suggests that maybe Kris needs to update his contact information), and then both of them just sit there kind of silent and exasperated.

Scintillating. And then, I shit you not, they To Be Continued this plot, because apparently Brody can get over his thirty years of daddy issues in one backyard conversation but it will take two whole incessant episodes for him to forgive his step mom for…unclear things that may or may not have happened in the past I guess. Whoo.

The B-Plot: Scott Disick wants to throw Kourtney a birthday party. This proves to be difficult when, after he enlists Khloé’s help to wrangle everybody into a dinner at Tony’s, Kourtney casuals that she’d probably prefer to eat at Nobu. So Scott keeps bugging her to go to Tony’s, which she doesn’t want to, so she delays getting dressed, and they end up an hour late to their own party.

Which is sad, but then we also have to sit through Khloé amd Kris complaining about how terrible Scott is. And then…that plot line just ends, and what the fuck, huh?

Scott is horrible, but not for the reasons he gets skewered for in this episode, so that’s just sad. Plus, y’know, the fact that he got decent forward development last episode and so, of course, Scottslide, which is a new word I’m coining. It means “Scott Disick backsliding”

The C-Plot: Kim gets her divorce, finally, after flatly stating for the cameras that she doesn’t want anybody to think that she merely fake-loved Kris Humphries for the publicity. Which is really the issue, but she’s made that point so many times now that it’s starting to seem disingenuous, so maybe she should stop. Anyways, she’s divorced now (which we already knew) and free to deliver North to the world unencumbered by the emotional dissonance she perceives in still be married while having Special Guest Star Kanye West’s baby. Whoo.

Because this plot just sort of peters off midway through the episode, Rob’s refusal to travel to Greece sort of becomes the defacto C-Plot in the episode’s second half. Recurring Guest Star Lamar Odom gives him the kind of excellent pep talk that makes you wish Recurring Guest Star Lamar Odom spent more time actually being on this show, but that’s about all that’s interesting about this other than Brody’s quashed bromance fantasies for him and Rob in Greece. It’s very sad.

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