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Phoebe and the chick and duck.

Friends S03E21: "The One With the Chick and the Duck"

By Dom Sinacola · Nov 09, 2012

A Matt Lib works in the same way a Mad Lib does, only it involves a Matt. (Or two, in this case.)

Print this out or write directly onto your computer monitor. Fill out the spaces below and then fit your answers into the corresponding lines in the following script involving Matt Leblanc and Matthew Perry, thereby completing their adventure.

This story is from the Friends episode entitled “The One With the Chick and the Duck.” CHANDLER BING (Matthew Perry) has been surprised by roommate JOEY TRIBBIANI (Matt LeBlanc). The surprise is a baby chick, who Joey intends them to raise as a pet. As with most events transpiring amongst these Friends, the novelty of the situation wears thin, and their domestic bliss loses footing…

1. FAKE PIECE OF IKEA FURNITURE ___________________
2. FANCY ADVERB __________________
3. SPICE GIRLS SONG ____________________
4. GATEWAY TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE ____________________
5. PRESENT-TENSE INTRANSITIVE VERB ONE PERFORMS WITH THE MOUTH __________________
6. DEEP-SEATED PHOBIA __________________
7. SERVICE ONE RECEIVES AT A BEAUTY PARLOR ___________________
8. WET ADVERB ____________________
9. WET PRESENT-TENSE INTRANSITIVE VERB ____________________
10. LOOSELY DEFINED DANCE CLASS ____________________
11. CAR-DRIVING OCCUPATION ____________________
12. THE AMOUNT OF SYLLABLES IN YOUR FULL CHRISTIAN NAME ____________________
13. THE SQUARE ROOT OF YOUR FACE __________________
14. FANCY PARTICIPLE (-ING VERB) ___________________
15. NICKNAME ONE WOULD ASSIGN TO A BIG-TOOTHED ENGLISH CHILD ____________________
16. HOLIDAY NO ONE REMEMBERS ____________________
17. INAPPROPRIATE PARTICIPLE (-ING VERB) ____________________
18. MELODIOUS ADVERB ____________________
19. MAGICAL LEGUME (PLURAL) ____________________

(CHANDLER is perched on a (1)__________ in their kitchen, singing (2)__________ to Yasmine the Chick.)

CHANDLER: OK, but this is the last time. (To the tune of (3)__________.) With a chick chick here and a chick chick there, here a chick there a chick everywhere a chick ch—

(JOEY barges through the (4)__________ to their apartment.)

CHANDLER: (nervously)—iiiicken.

JOEY: Hey.

CHANDLER: Hey.

JOEY: How’s she (5)__________?

CHANDLER:: …she?

JOEY: Well, yeah, don’t you think it’s a she?

CHANDLER: I dunno…

(CHANDLER picks up Yasmine the Chick and tips it upside down to possibly reveal its (6)__________. Detecting nothing, he blows softly onto the chick’s (7)__________.)

I can’t tell. Whatever it was went back in too (8)__________.

JOEY: Well anyway, I gotta go (9)__________, I’m ah, meeting some of the cast for (10)__________.

CHANDLER: Excuse me?

JOEY: What?

CHANDLER: I stayed home from (11)__________ today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick.

JOEY: Hey! Who was up from (12)__________ o’clock this morning until (13)__________ o’clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?

CHANDLER: You don’t think I get up when you get up?

JOEY: Ohhh, here it comes.

(CHANDLER stands up.)

CHANDLER: Yes, here it comes! I’m stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off (14)__________ with your friends? Well I don’t think so (15)__________.

JOEY: Hey! I need to relax! Okay? I’ve been working all (16)__________!

CHANDLER: And you don’t think taking care of our chick is work?

JOEY: That’s not what I said. Okay, I just meant…

CHANDLER: I know what you meant!

(CHANDLER sits down again.)

You notice that ever since we got this chick, we’ve been (17)__________ a lot more than we used to?

JOEY: I dunno, maybe we weren’t ready to have a chick.

CHANDLER: I’ll take her back (18)__________.

JOEY: Do you think we’ll get our three (19)__________ back?

………

20. A QUESTION CAPTAIN PICARD WOULD ASK ___________________
21. GOVERNMENT BUILDING __________________
22. TYPE OF ONE-PIECE OUTFIT ____________________
23. SOMETHING SOMEONE WOULD DO TO A BLOCK OF CHEESE (PRESENT-TENSE INTRANSITIVE VERB) ____________________
24. VIGOROUS PARTICIPLE __________________
25. BROAD ETHNIC GROUPS __________________
26. ADJECTIVE DESCRIBING COMMANDER RIKER’S BEARD ___________________
27. ADJECTIVE DESCRIBING RIKER’S TROMBONE ____________________
28. SINISTER PARTICIPLE (-ING VERB) ____________________
29. SOMETHING ONE WOULD FIND IN ONE’S SOCK ____________________

(JOEY comes home.)

CHANDLER: Hey!

JOEY: Ohhh. Ahh! (20)__________?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.

CHANDLER: I did! But the store wouldn’t take her back. So then I took her to the (21)__________, and you know what I found out?

If they can’t find a (22)__________ for her, they (23)__________ her! And I’m not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!

JOEY: Okay, good, good, good, ‘cause, good, ‘cause I was (24)__________ too.

CHANDLER: Okay. And it’s not just chicks y’know? It’s all kinds of other (25)__________!

JOEY: That’s (26)__________! Well, you did the right thing man.

CHANDLER: Thanks, I’m (27)__________ you see it that way.

[Just then, a (28)__________ duck emerges from the bathroom.]

CHANDLER: Oh, funny (29)__________

………

30. LARGE, HOLLOW ROOM OCCUPIED TYPICALLY BY THE HOMELESS ___________________
31. PRESENT-TENSE INTRANSITIVE VERB ONE PERFORMS WITH THE GLUTES ___________________
32. SOMETHING SOMEONE WOULD DO TO A ROTTING PUMPKIN (PRESENT-TENSE INTRANSITIVE VERB) __________________
33. PRESENT-TENSE TRANSITIVE VERB DUE TO SEXUAL TENSION ____________________
34. PERIOD OF TIME BEST DESCRIBED AS UNCOMFORTABLE ____________________
35. UNDESERVED HONORIFIC __________________
36. PLACE WHERE THE SUN DOES NOT SHINE __________________

(JOEY enters the (30)__________ where CHANDLER is kneeling by the bathtub, watching the duck.)

JOEY: What ‘cha doing?

CHANDLER: (adorably) (31)__________ a swim.

JOEY: What about the chick?

CHANDLER: Chicks don’t swim.

JOEY: Are you sure?

CHANDLER: I don’t know. Should we (32)__________?

JOEY: Sure.

(CHANDLER (33)__________ Yasmine the Chick into the bathtub.)

CHANDLER: See, I told you they don’t swim.

JOEY: Wait. Give him a (34)__________.

CHANDLER: No!

(Quickly but gingerly, CHANDLER pulls Yasmine from the bath. He cups her/him in his hand and coos.)

Oh, it’s OK, it’s OK (35)__________.

(JOEY reaches behind CHANDLER’S (36)__________ and grabs a hairdryer. He revs it up…)

Discussion
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