By Mark Abraham · Oct 23, 2013
  • A leg was sticking out.
  • No, like a leg leg.
  • I dunno.
  • Chinos? Maybe corduroys? I was far away.
  • Yellow.
  • No, just one leg. I couldn’t see the other one.
  • What do you mean, “juicy”?
  • No, not like fried chicken. Not like a drumstick.
  • Just a leg.
  • It was freaky.
  • It was just: a pile of trash, plus a leg.
  • I dunno.
  • Why are you laughing? I’m trying to tell you I just saw a dismembered leg.
  • Yes. All the time. On television. A real leg is different.
  • It was just…flesh.
  • Just sitting there.
  • I really wish you’d stop laughing.
  • I was profoundly affected by this.
  • I didn’t do anything.
  • Cops were already showing up.
  • Homicide, I guess.
  • No, the Bunk was not one of the cops.
  • This is real life. It’s not television.
  • It’s not my fault you’ve lost all capacity to experience real things.
  • I’m so sorry my profound experience is such a source of humor for you.
  • Yeah, well someday somebody is going to find just your leg in a pile of trash.
  • No, that wasn’t a threat.
  • I’m not going to kill you, okay?
  • I just don’t understand why you find this so funny.
  • Presumably there are random body parts just strewn about our neighborhood.
  • Look, if all I’m doing is running to the store to buy some eggs, I don’t expect to see a leg.
  • What’s next? I’ll be jogging tomorrow and find…an elbow or something?
  • What? Fuck you!
  • No, I understand that I probably wouldn’t find just an elbow. That’s not the point!
  • Great. Focus on the individual words I’m saying, rather than my point.
  • My point, apparently, is that you’re a big fucking asshole.
  • No, I do not want drumsticks for dinner tonight!
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