Retired Answering Machine Messages, Volume 3
By Mark Abraham& Dom Sinacola · Jan 21, 2014
- That epic plot twist in Now You See Me was a doozy, huh?
- It probably should have been called Star Trek: Who Gives a Fuck?
- Whoops! You caught us daydreaming about Sebastian the crab singing a song just for us!
- Don’t you even dare impugn the grandeur of Adam Sandler’s late-career movies!
- Shit. Do you think Bambi’s mom had life insurance?
- We make James Buchanan jokes because James Buchanan, right?
- No, but seriously, have you ever actually listened to the lyrics of “O.P.P.”?
- We’ll just say it: Twitter friends are better than real-life friends.
- No, we do have a podcast. We just don’t let anybody hear it.
- If you play The Lord of the Rings backwards it’s really annoying to watch.
- What crazy Miley Cyrus thing? You mean when she pulled her wig off to reveal that she is Hannah Montana?
- Currently trying on a nice silk shirt and 8-Ball jacket combo.
- I’m your Hootieandtheblowfishberry. #90stombstone
- Manipulating plankton into a life-sized replica of Mikhail Gorbachev’s face.
- Starting a Kickstarter for that cute new toaster oven we want. It’s the boysenberry one!
- We should really upgrade our copy of Spice World from VHS to Blu-Ray.
- We thought about being cannibals for a while ‘cause it sounds cool, but turns out that means eating human flesh.
- Nobody’s grandmother lives over the river or through the woods anymore.
- We’re off to find the Holy Grail: an Mmmuffins. We haven’t seen one in years.
- Before they could just run a computer scan, did they have to compare fingerprints by eyeballing them?
- One innovative thing about One Direction: the blonde one isn’t the lead singer.
- Thought it might be fun to start painting Warhammer 40k models again; remembered we couldn’t paint.
- I don’t think most of the games that try to be Zelda understand Zelda.
- Why haven’t they made Stick It 2 yet?!?!”