THE

Patooties

By Dom Sinacola · Oct 22, 2013

Compiled from: Too Cute! S01E01: “Too Cute! Kittens”

“This itsy-bity poofball ate one of his brothers while still in the womb. Too hungry!”
“This sweetiepie is the runt of the litter and so will starve to death due to her mother’s neglect. Too infanticidal!”
“One of these supes-adorbs patooties will be killed in a shelter. Too bureaucratic!”
“This tiny precious nomad is about to fall off the table and break his neck. Too fragile!”
“This squirmy-wormy bit of furry sunshine was born with only a brain stem and severe, advanced kitten osteoporosis. Too cruel on the part of an indifferent universe!”
“This ooky-wooky iddle fella is in the throes of coitus with a non-consenting sibling. Too libertine!”
“This wittle guy is stillborn.”
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